• Analytics according to Captain Kirk. In short, the survival rate of a red-shirted crew person on the USS Enterprise is akin to that of a Russian infantryman during WWII.
• A timeline of Black Flag's hair.
• The Montana Meth Project. Gritty, jarring and perfect.

Labels: drugs, link goodness, music, pop culture, war

• Tips on managing Millennials (or as I like to call them "The Participation Ribbon Generation"). Not willing to make routine sacrifices, cannot handle criticism well and take things too seriously, you say? I am guessing it had something to do with an entire generation being raised with a sense of entitlement, hyper-sensitivity and not being allowed to fail. Guess we should have kept score at their Little League games after all.
• The perfect Valentine's Day gift: Afghani War Rugs! Now available in the new, delicious 9/11 Flavor!
• Roger Clemens throws his wife under the bus to protect what is left of his sterling professional baseball reputation. Well played, Mr. I Did Not Use HGH But My Bitch Wife Did.
  

Labels: 9/11, age, link goodness, sports, valentines day, war

Meet Bob Keeler. He was born on Valentine's Day, received the Distinguished Service Cross after some dirty Krauts blew his legs off in WW-Deuce and when he dies, he wants to go out dancing. I would pay money to see Bob hand a pack of Emo kids their asses with a prosthetic leg.

Labels: valentines day, war

Today in History:

On March 10, 1974, Second Lieutenant Hiroo Onoda of the Imperial Japanese Army emerges from the jungle and surrenders to Philippine authorities. He thought World War II was still underway and waged a 29 year guerrilla battle killing thirty people and engaging in several shootouts with the police.

For some odd reason, I can relate to this.

Labels: tomfoolery, war

I should be posting something socially redeeming like US forces dropping chemical weapons on Iraqis during the assault on Fallujah. I could point out the cruel irony of the US using the very weapons they claimed to be eradicating Iraq from. Instead, I am obsessed with ex-NFL cheerleader lesbians that have a penchant for sexual deviancy and assault in a public restroom. Penthouse is attempting to woo the aforementioned scissor sisters into a photo spread. Godspeed, Penthouse. Godspeed.

Labels: carolina panther cheerleaders, lesbians, war

• A chimpanzee in a South African zoo has taken up smoking.
• Liberian soldiers wear wigs and women's clothing believing it will protect them in battle.
• The DEA has released the 2005 Drugs of Abuse handbook. Especially enjoyable are the chapters on Hallucinogens (8) and Inhalants (9).

Labels: drugs, link goodness, monkeys, tomfoolery, war

The world according to three-star Marine general James Mattis:

"Sometimes it is fun to shoot some people."

Labels: murder, war

Today marks the 63rd anniversary of the bombing of Pearl Harbor. My great uncle Al was in the harbor during the attack and survived. Most of his shipmates and friends died that day. He went on to serve on another battleship (the name of which escapes me but he eloquently called it "A goddamn tin can"), fought at Guadalcanal and witnessed the famous/bogus flag raising at Iwo Jima. Uncle Al never gave me lectures on freedom nor filled my head with idealistic notions of patriotism. The only advice he ever offered me was to appreciate every day and maintain a good sense of humor. Sound advice from a man with a half-naked hula girl tattooed on his forearm.

Labels: family, history, war

If Americans do not have the right to insert three headed, fourteen inch dildos covered with sixty grit sandpaper into their rectums in the privacy of their own homes anymore, then what in the hell are we fighting in Iraq for? Oh, right. Oil.

Labels: politics, sex, war

The media blitz surrounding the anniversary of the September 11 tragedies was about as subtle as a sack of hammers. It seemed every television channel and radio station geared their programming about the attacks. I would rather have seen coverage of Marines raining bullets into Al-Queda soldiers and then defiling their filthy corpses, but that’s just me. The rumor now is that Osama Bin Laden is taking a dirt nap. In an interview with a television journalist an Al-Queda general kept referring to Osama in the past tense.

On a lighter note, Snoop Dogg has quit smoking. In a world full of avarice and despair there was always one thing I could count on: Snoop Dogg blazing. Snoop’s dependency on weed was the one fundamental truth I could believe in. Now I am challenging my values, beliefs and the very foundation of my existence. Thanks a lot Snoop.

Labels: 9/11, drugs, war