When I started the MB back in 2000, my original intent was to showcase my resume and minuscule design portfolio. I had just made the transition from print design to web design and thought the purchase of the domain name would motivate me to learn more about designing and maintaining websites. It did.

In 2002, the MB transitioned from a professional showcase to a personal one. I started posting about all manner of nonsense, because, in case you have not realized by now, I have a lot to say about a lot of shit. In 2002 there was no Facebook. No Twitter. No MySpace. No news feeds. It actually took some doing to track down links and write about them. I was happy to do this because my job was mind-numbing and management at the data slaughterhouse had no idea what the hell I was up to. Soon, links, emails and IMs started flooding in from the likes of Jake, Michael, DJ, Kaye, Monica, CH, Gay Joe and Mark. Boredom loves company? I was happy to be posting regularly as it fueled my passion for creativity in ways that my career was not.

Enter Broz Design in November 2008 and my posting to the MB fizzling out. Maybe its because I am fulfilled professionally? Or because I would rather hang out with my kid than waste my time posting about a guy that got fucked to death by a horse? Or maybe it is time to take the MB into a new direction? I go with the latter. I have always dreamed about writing the Great American Novel but am no closer to that goal than I was last year. My New Years resolution for 2010 is to start using the MB to focus more on actually writing a book and get some ideas out into the ether. It may not lead to anything other than me doing what I have been wanting to do for some time and that is fine. It is not like you want to read about a horse fucking a guy to death, anyway. Right?

Labels: /mark, broz design, career, data slaughterhouse, dj, gay joe, jake, kaye, matt brozovich, mons, perversion, technology, tomfoolery

Flying on 9/11 may not be the smartest thing I have ever done (then again neither was this. Or this. Or this), but, as the rabid Carolina Hurricanes fan sitting next to me on the plane said yesterday "If we do not fly on 9/11 then the fucking terrorists win." Preach on, guy who loves Rod Brind Amour, preach on (note to Perez: 'Canes fan was a former Philadelphia Flyers fan which almost made me stop talking to him until I asked him why he stopped rooting for the Flyers. His response, "Because my wife and I have been living in Raleigh for the past seven years and, well, fuck the Flyers"). Sitting in the CLT, here are some highlights from my recent business trip to North Carolina:

• North Carolina is green and lush. I mean really green and lush. I guess I am too used to the yellow-brown hue Colorado is covered in year-round. There are a plethora of pine tress in the greater Raleigh-Durham area, too. I was not aware the Carolinas were so friendly to the coniferous tree family.
• Various topics discussed with our client that was not related to his website: Carolina Panthers football, the point spread on the UNC-Rutgers game, Indian hotel investors, hairy pussy, bald pussy, Viagra and wine.
• Various topics discussed with our client related to his website that had nothing to do with design or development: their T1 connection.
• Various topics discussed with our client related to his website that had to do with design or development: none.
• I enjoyed a ridiculous meal at a five-star resort called Herons. I gorged myself on a tremendous meal of sea bass, hush puppies, numerous expensive glasses of wine and sweet potato pie.
• How many times our client's partner urged me to "beat my children with a strap" upon telling him that my wife was pregnant: 3.
• How many times our client's partner passed on the restaurant valet service even though it was free: 2.
• The next time I will be to invited fly to Raleigh and "talk about the website": 6 months.

Labels: 9/11, career, colorado, drinking, gluttony, hockey, perez, perversion, sports, travels, vajayjay

• Hulkamania is apparently not about lifting your weights and eating your vitamins but slathering baby oil inappropriately all over your daughter's ass.
• Bill Geerhart wrote letters to some of the most infamous figures in the country posing as a ten year-old boy named Billy. Hijinks ensue.
• Just when I thought Tyra Banks was in another stratosphere with her insanity she proves that there are others even more crazy than her. The best (saddest) part of the feature? When Summer's dad hands her a bottle of lube for her first day of whoring.

Labels: bad parents, link goodness, perversion, pop culture

• George Clooney is a bitch. All the deviants on my Thursday night ice hockey team judged me a few weeks ago for not having seen Two Girls And 1 Cup. So I gave into peer pressure and watched the scat sickness unfold before me. I am convinced the two girls were eating chocolate soft serve ice cream and not engaging in actual corpophilia. I need footage of the poop in question being shat into the cup, not the cup going off camera and than magically re-entering the frame filled with poop. Who are you judging now, Thursday night ice hockey team?
  
• In California, science dorks are getting their panties in a twist over the first substantiated wolverine sighting since the 1920s. Yee-haw! It is a large, ferocious weasel!
• Erotic Falconry is a great idea with poor execution (Read: birds of prey Photshopped into pictures of hot chicks). I was expecting topless shots of hot chicks with falconers gloves and assorted raptors affixed to them. I guess my standards are just too high. You disappoint me yet again, internet.

Labels: chicks, link goodness, perversion, poop, pop culture, porn, science

• The man who quipped "The name is Dalton..." after his set/bar fight at the Double Deuce is no more. Godspeed, Mr. Healey. I thought you would be bigger.
• Bacon cups. I may have the wife whip me up some bacon cups so I can pack them full of bacon bits and have a heart attack upon consumption.
  
• A photo essay about Uncle Dirty (NSFW). Uncle Dirty has a hog, friends. Enjoy the thong photo (near the bottom) which displays Uncle Dirty's skid marks are welcome.

Labels: bacon, death, link goodness, movies, perversion, pop culture, wife

Jake: Amber marries Amber Doll.
Me: That doll looks a million times better than she does.
Jake: Ha!
Me: I would probably take a run at that doll but be creeped out the entire time while doing so. Then again, that describes sex with my ex-girlfriend so I might be able to handle it.
Jake: I have a feeling I would get in the middle of it and be like, "This is weird." It would be like jerking off in the shower and realizing halfway through that it is not going anywhere. Sure you keep at it for a while, but eventually your arm just wears out.
Me: No way. Once I am in that doll, I am committed. It is a lot like sex with the dead or bestiality; once you crossed the the penetration threshold, all bets are off. You do not just pull out and acknowledge weirdness in the middle of it. You have to finish and than punch the doll in the throat for judging you afterwards.

Labels: im convos, jake, perversion, sex

What is it about you that simultaneously makes me tingle in the crotch and causes me to question the very nature of human sexuality? You are but a cartoon yet I find myself longing to objectify you. In the midst of my drunken haze yesterday at the Colorado Rockies game, you teased me on the Jumbo Tron with your winning smile, your pink tresses flipping out from under your ball cap and your vibrant green eyes confidentially stating, "I am cute, I love Colorado Rockies baseball and I fight big insurance by defeating its evil representatives in assorted sporting activities." Was it not you who went screaming down a mountain on a snowboard chased by mindless goons on snowmobiles just to save me 18 cents a month on my automotive policy? Was it not you who took to the ice in a desperate hockey match against villainous robots bent on lavish insurance premiums only to defeat them by playing goalie, offense and defense and eventually scoring the game-winning goal with a wicked slap shot? You little pink-haired minx. You have stolen my heart and more importantly, you have made me believe that I do not have to spend a bundle on auto insurance.

Labels: erin the esurance girl, open letter, perversion

• A man argues that he cannot be prosecuted for having sex with a deer because the animal was dead at the time of said bestial necrophiliac coitus.
• A cargo container loaded with the Doritos washes ashore after falling off a ship. Fattys riot for the sloppy seconds.
  
• A killer whale acting like a killer whale (save for the act of eating its prey).
• Gingerbread Tie-Fighter.
• Google Video of a limber octopus.
• Awesome architecture, installment one: hotcakes housing project.

Labels: bestiality, gluttony, link goodness, perversion, pop culture, science, unemployment

Me: Then there are these fucking guys.
Jake: I like how you lead into that.
Me: (bows).
Jake: Dude thought the obituary picture was cute? Never mind that she died in a motorcycle crash.
Me: Yeah. She's dead, fellas. How about you try to tap the living, first?
Jake: Well, I would rather they try this than rape Tommy's little sister.
Me: I would rather them not rape anybody, dead or alive. I do like how they bought condoms. That was thoughtful.
Jake: Yes. You don't want to catch maggots.
Me: Or get the corpse pregnant. What were the other dudes going to do while their boy got his Ted Bundy on?
Jake: See if he liked it and then take a poke if it was any good?
Me: Yeesh. There are sloppy seconds and than there are sloppy seconds with a dead body. That is the lowest rung on the sexual deviance ladder. While we're on the topic, I'm thinking they should have bought some lube with those condoms, too.
Jake: Totally.
Me: You know, a guy I play hockey with kind of looks like one of those dudes. His name is Dave. He probably has sex with the dead, too.
Jake: Nice.

Labels: im convos, jake, perversion, sex, stupidity

The Germans are an odd and perplexing people; with their dreams of world domination, love for the Hasselhoff, Coprophilia obsession and pubic hair print panties.

Labels: panties, perversion, pop culture, tomfoolery

• A comprehensive explanation of the sport cricket. In St. Lucia the wife and I encountered some cricket grounds while driving through the countryside. Our guides informed us that while cricket is not a big game on the island, a brand new stadium, Beausejour Ground, was built on the outskirts of Rodney Bay and will host matches of the ICC Cricket World Cup 2007.
  
• Existential Garfield comics. This depressing storyline originally ran the week of October 23, 1989 as a lead up to Halloween. Garfield awakens in the future when the house is abandoned and he no longer exists. Some theorize that the end of this storyline implies that the rest of the "conventional" strips are just fantasies Garfield plays out in his head to delude himself from realizing that he is starving to death in an abandoned house. Here I thought that Garfield was just a shallow husk of commercialism that yielded film abominations staring Jennifer Love Hewitt and plush orange stuffed animals.
  
• Claire Hoffman, staff writer for the LA Times, spends some time with Joe Francis, founder of the Girls Gone Wild empire. Hijinks ensue.

Labels: comics, link goodness, perversion, pop culture, st.lucia, wife

I apologize for my neglect of the MB lately as work has kept me busier than your mom after inhaling Poppers at an anal sex convention. I have been catching up after three weeks of ruining my life and the subsequent celebration of ruining my life in a third world country. On with today's link goodness:

• Graphic representation in the form of nationalistic coffins of the mounting death toll in the Israel-Lebanon conflict (updated daily).
• An open letter to a mental case into mini-fridges.
• A Japanese game show that gives contestants a little "How's Your Father" for incorrect answers.

Labels: death, drugs, link goodness, open letter, perversion, war

• Future Garfield strips if Garfield aged at the normal feline rate.
• Bo Jackson runs wild in a game of Super Tecmo Bowl. My Dad would say that Bo did this in real life every time he played against the Denver Broncos and then he would call Bo a "bag of shit."
• Watch this video and then ask how far you would go for some free porn.

Labels: comics, geekery, link goodness, perversion, porn, sports

• Another hot teacher bangs one of her idiot students. I am bitter about the complete lack of hot teachers in my academic career. Would it have been too much to ask to have a former Miss Texas teaching Spanish at my high school? I would have gone to class just to ogle teacher's firm breasts and taut runners legs, especially if there was a slim chance of scoring.
• Comic book dork extraordinaire makes a Thing costume. It is called pussy, dude. Look into getting some.
• Look who is number one for girls humping fleece sweatshirts on Ask.com.

Labels: comics, link goodness, perversion

Summer is nearly upon us and that means I will be fielding middle of the day phone calls at work from the future wife and listening to her describe her naps by the pool in vivid detail. The future wife is a teacher and has her summers off. Damn her. Onward to Alice Cooper's School's Out link goodness:

• A special Special Education teacher.
• "Let's have a feel of that ass. Mmmmm. That's nice. Now go outside and fetch me some Happy Teacher Water."
• Bottled ketchup: public school's newest menace.

Labels: drinking, link goodness, perversion, summer, wife

I am in the midst of contemplating some major career decisions. These past six months have been the worst of my professional life and that includes my first year out of college when I was laid off twice and commuting fifty miles daily in a car with no air conditioning. Needless to say, I have been sending out resumes with the subtlety of a self-immolating Buddhist monk. I have started a morning ritual of meditating in my car before I go into the office to put myself in the right frame of mind. The ritual goes as such: I take a deep breath and think about starving children in Africa whose villages are torn apart by famine, disease and death. I take a deep breath and think about young female amputees scared for life by land mines and the memories of having sex with zealot soldiers consumed with hate just to survive a civil war. I take a deep breath and think about heroin addicts living on the streets who were born into unloving, drug infested homes where they were physically, sexually and mentally abused. Then I call myself a pussy, put my experience in perspective, sack up and go into the office dreaming of the day when I will finally get rid of that fucking car without air conditioning. Recent developments have me hopeful this will happen very soon. Now on to more important things; like Eastern European broads wrestling in their panties. Spoiler: The match is decided when the brunette puts the blond in a nasty head-scissor lock.

Labels: career, data slaughterhouse, drugs, perversion, war

A superb article about Transgendered prison bitches. Quoth one bitch:

I should not have to prostitute myself to remain safe.

I have luckily never been locked up before, but it seems to me that you are either predator or prey in the clink. So if you are a Transgendered, kiddy-touching she-male, you best serve your ass up to the baddest motherfucker in that place if you harbor any notions of self-preservation.

Labels: perversion, prison, sex

• This is what happens when atypical fat Goth chicks have no talent for writing poetry in a cemetery.
• A burglar avoids a prison term until he can regain control of his manhood. (The condition known as Priapism (or "the perpetual erection") was named for the Greek god Priapus, who was the protector of livestock, fruit plants, gardens and male genitalia and subsequently hung like a moose).
• Well done, ladies; but no matter how high you jump and how far you can pull and spread those young, taut bodies, my bracket tells me that you are getting smoked like a Parliament in the second round by Wichita State.

Labels: crime, link goodness, perversion, sports

• I do not have a problem with women who breast feed their children in public; unless they are offering the tit to an eight year old.
• At long last, the trailer trash prophecy has been fulfilled.
• Quote of the day: "I probably do need some help, but I do not know if this is the time or place for it."

Labels: link goodness, perversion, pop culture

• Bestiality is now illegal in Washington inspired by a pervert that was thankfully removed from the human gene pool by a giant horse cock.
• Skyscraper escape pods inspired by the the victims that plummeted to their deaths from the burning floors of the World Trade Center.
• A marriage contract inspired by a personality disorder.
• A passion for wrestling not inspired by a ruptured testicle.

Labels: bestiality, death, history, link goodness, perversion, tomfoolery

If you need a reason not to sleep with your sister, click here.

Labels: mormons, perversion, religion

• Bea Arthur wrestles a Velocoraptor.
• Man impregnates teenager. Man marries impregnated teenager. Man goes to court in NASCAR tie (click on image). Man goes to jail. Moral of the story: If you impregnate an underage girl, do not wear a NASCAR tie to court.
• A low-speed internet connection can be frustrating, but whatever happened to running down to the Circle K and picking up a pack of smokes and a Penthouse Forum?

Labels: link goodness, perversion, pop culture, porn, tomfoolery

Keep it up, Chuang Chuang the Panda. For your species is on the brink of extinction.

Labels: perversion, science

I think this blurb says it all:

Roberts, who declined to be interviewed, has been in therapy since allegedly being ejaculated on.

Click here for the full story.

Labels: perversion

Pere Lachaise cemetery in Paris has fenced off a famous tomb to prevent lewd acts being performed on the sepulcher cover. Apparently the statue's crotch has seen more action than Tommy Lees'. Unlike Tommy Lee's junk, however, you do not have to get checked for gonorrhea and hepatitis after rubbing up on it.

Labels: death, perversion, pop culture

• Thailand is portraying imagery of bad teeth, tumors and death instead of verbal cues as warnings on cigarette packs.
• "Cool Mom" Silvia Johnson (reacquaint yourself with the saga here and here) is moving to scenic Canon City, Colorado for the next 30 years. With that haircut I think she'll fit right in.
• I did not know it was so easy to get Mormons to jump from moving cars. Any Latter Day Saints out there need a ride? (In all honesty, we probably would not make it to backing out of the driveway).

Labels: bad parents, colorado, death, link goodness, mormons, perversion, silvia johnson

• A frightening haunted house. Frightening not because of superb effects and realistic horror scenarios but because it is operated by a registered sex offender.
• A classic Halloween prank goes awry in trailer park. The world is shocked.
  
• Wikipedia for the man who killed Halloween. Thanks to this prick and the paranoia he caused, I did not have a Snickers bar until I was in junior high. My dad would "check" all of my candy post trick-or-treating and deem it safe for consumption. He would take all the Snickers bars out of my bag and say things like, "This one is no good, son. It is poisoned" or "You cannot eat this one. It looks like someone tampered with it." These "tainted" candy bars then found their way into my Dad's secret candy stash for him to enjoy periodically through out the year. Fuck you, Candyman.
  

Labels: death, halloween, link goodness, perversion, tomfoolery

• Smurf village annihilated by warplanes. Enough said.
• A registered sex offender is arrested wearing only a loin cloth fashioned from lawn furniture and covered in either fecal matter or tomato paste.
• An interview with Stephen Baldwin regarding his "hardcore" relationship with the almighty.

Labels: comics, link goodness, perversion, pop culture, tomfoolery

A bulleted list on what bothers me about this link:

• A clown can be sexually arousing.
• An advertising professional going by the nickname Kazoo.
• Den Fujita, the first McDonald's Japan president, waxing on diet and skin color: "The reason Japanese people are so short and have yellow skins is because they have eaten nothing but fish and rice for 2000 years. If we eat McDonald's hamburgers and potatoes for a thousand years we will become taller, our skin become white and our hair blond."

I have just three words for McDonald's Japan: Giant McSquid Sandwich.

Labels: food, perversion, pop culture, science

Insane? No. Mentally ill and making a fourteen year-old boy the undisputed king of his middle school? Yes.

Labels: education, perversion, sex

Local serial rapist and child molester Brent Brents has been busy writing letters from prison. Can we please throw this piece of shit into a holding cell with some hardcore gang-bangers from Aurora and then look the other way when they sodomize and jab a sharpened spoon stuck into his neck?

Labels: crime, denver, perversion

• I was always under the impression that the worst mistake in the human race was Courtney Love. According to author Jared Diamond, it is the adoption of agriculture.
  
• Fishermen in northern Thailand have caught the biggest catfish on record; a 646-pound monster. This story would have been more amazing if they noodled the son of a bitch.
• A man was discovered in a tank under a women's toilet filled with human waste peeping up at the girls doing their business. That is what I call a serious commitment to your wank.

Labels: books, link goodness, perversion, science

From the saga of Baby Man:

I am incontinent now. I never know when it's going to strike. It's to the point now where if I didn't wear diapers, I wouldn't have the time to get to a bathroom. I wouldn't trust myself anymore without the diapers.

Labels: perversion, poop

An interview with a former television weatherman sociopath convicted for pedophilia. My favorite excerpt:

When you were fat and ugly and they don't pick you for a sports team they beat you up. That's another reason for going up to help him. If anything, I would come up there and just give him a big hug. If he really was who he said he was and in need. I even told him I only had a few hours to spend. I asked him what he liked to eat. He said 'Steak or pizza.' I brought steak and pizza coupons with me. Do you think the federal government used that in their press conference?

Your courtesy on the steak and pizza coupons is duly noted, Bill. Now, keep your hands off the goddamn kids.

Labels: crime, perversion

• A man opposed to the dumping of raw sewage into the Pacific Ocean protests dressed as a giant shit known as Mr. Floatie.
• The Miss Tiffany Universe pageant is like all other beauty pageants save one minor detail; the contestants are packing heat.
• An email exchange between a dwarf and a bloated movie critic.

Labels: link goodness, perversion, poop, pop culture

It is a dreary day in Denver today as the sky is overcast and it is raining. This somber backdrop seems to have affected my mood as I find myself reading soul-crushing links about the lives of juvenile sex crime investigators. Not surprisingly, most pedophiles have an affinity for Star Trek.

Labels: denver, funk, geekery, perversion

I know that residing in a trailer park is not easy. The unskilled labor market is a series of ups and downs; one day work is easy to come by, the next you are at home sucking down a fifth of Old Grandad and chain-smoking Pall Malls wondering where the hell you went wrong. Before you know it, you are diagnosed with cancer. Instead of sitting down and evaluating your life with some thought and introspection you decide that you are going to "go out crazy." That is fine by me. Go out crazy. Shoot up a giant hit of smack. Jump from an airplane with no parachute. That is crazy. Fucking your sister? That is going out disgusting, not crazy.

Labels: open letter, perversion

Koko the Gorilla is a sexual deviant with a penchant for nipples:

"My client was getting some rudimentary signing from Koko," he said by phone from his Redwood City office. "'Let down your hair. Lie down on the floor. Show your breasts again. Close your eyes.' My client peeped out and saw Koko slowly kneel down and start squatting and breathing heavily. My client got spooked and ran out of the trailer."

Labels: monkeys, perversion

Governor Schwarzenegger may be remembered years from now for making it illegal to have sex with the dead. Unless of course he is the antichrist, then he will be remembered for something else entirely.

Labels: perversion, politics, pop culture

Thailand is wondorous place where one can buy a brick of hash for cheap, engage in group sex with fifteen underage prostitutes and watch orangutans kick box each other to the death.

Labels: drugs, monkeys, perversion

Being a Rainforest conservationist rules! Maybe I should travel to South America or Africa in an attempt to change local land development policies regarding human encroachment in jungle habitats and impart wisdom to indigenous farmers regarding the negative aspects of slash-and-burn land clearing. Or maybe my passion for Rainforest conservation would be better served by fucking my girlfriend from behind live on stage during a concert for a band called Cumshot.

Labels: inner-monologue, perversion

An excerpt:

He told police he noticed a brown female stray dog wagging its tail and "acting sexy" and pulled it into some tall grass by the roadside.

Labels: bestiality, perversion

According to this interview in the late 70s, Arnold Schwarzenegger liked to participate in gang bangs with black chicks and his dad was a Nazi officer.

Labels: hate, perversion, politics, pop culture

A dissertation on the Communist leanings of the Smurfs. I agree that the Smurfs have some Marxist tendencies but I feel that the sexual promiscuity of Smurfette is more of an issue. I know you are thinking that Smurfette represented all that was noble, pure and innocent with heterosexual Smurfanity, but I urge you to consider the following points:

1. Smurfette was the only female Smurf in the entire village. With an approximate 300 to 1 male to female Smurf ratio, are you naive enough to believe that she never threw a male Smurf the blue whiz?
2. The male Smurfs did her biding whenever she asked with no questions asked. Hefty Smurf would throw furniture around the house for her. Painter Smurf would paint her mushroom. Handy Smurf would build her bookshelves, tables and stools. And the list goes on. All of these tasks were performed out of the kindness of the male Smurfs hearts? Please. The only way men perform manual labor for any woman is if they are planning on sniffing her panties in the foreseeable future.
3. Papa Smurf would routinely send the other Smurfs into the forest for Smurfberries leaving himself and Smurfette alone to their own devices in the deserted village for countless hours. He is called "Papa" for a reason.
4. After a few seasons, baby Smurfs magically "appeared" in the village, their presence being explained by the stork theory. Is it unreasonable to believe that a village full of Smurfs at the height of sexual maturity did not hit skins with Smurfette to make some Smurf babies?

It is my conclusion that the Smurfs are not only Pinko scum, but that their female archetype Smurfette was the community bicycle and everyone took her for a ride.

Labels: perversion, politics, pop culture, tomfoolery

A pervert electrocutes himself with a homemade masturbation device. The device he called the 'Orgasmatron' included a vibrating mat, massage pads and electrodes that attached to the genitals. I do not understand men that use elaborate methods to release the poisons. To the men reading this that harbor grandiose masturbatory plans, I urge you to follow this simple, three-step process:

1. Acquire lubricant (optional).
2. Acquire tissue, toilet paper, used sweat sock or other preferred "clean up" method.
3. Obtain access to pornography via the internet, television or in printed form. If access to to pornography is unavailable, try the soap operas on Telemundo or reruns of Charmed.

Labels: perversion, porn, sex

A soft economy has produced a risky marketplace for Japanese schoolgirls selling their soiled panties. When the economy was good and demand was high, a young woman could just stuff her crusty, days-old Hanes Her Way into a Ziploc bag and mail them off. Nowadays, with less buyers and plummeting demand, these panty-slinging schoolgirls are being lured into more precarious situations to make a living. It is a sad state of affairs when an Asian schoolgirl cannot sell her grubby underwear safely.

Labels: panties, perversion

There are not many things I could love more than naked Eastern European broads doing gymnastics. I would probably love a 24-hour soft core porn television network, a reclining toilet seat and a lifetime supply of steak more, but nude female gymnastics is definitely on the top of list. Then again, nude female figure skating would be more awesome. Those ladies are less butch. Michelle Kwan and Katerina Witt doing a bare-assed Triple Lutz? Yes, please.

Labels: chicks, food, perversion, porn, sports

In Asia, men are surgically implanting pearls in their cocks, women are circumcising their husbands with scissors, nut vendors are dressed like cheap whores and the Japanese are developing a perfect toilet. A glimpse into Asian culture is sometimes more bizarre than tripping acid at a Stryper concert. Take Asian porn for example. Imagine a woman seated in the middle of a room. Surrounding her are numerous naked men, masturbating like circus monkeys. When they are ready to unleash the dogs of war they use her body as a landing pad. This is called bukkake, and these videos are wildly popular in Southeast Asia (if you want a bukkake link, tough shit. The MB does not promote circle jerks unless we are talking about the punk band). My coworker Greg said it best: "If I did not have a girlfriend and a healthy fear of diseases, Southeast Asia would be a lot of fun."

Labels: data slaughterhouse, music, perversion, poop, pop culture, porn, whores