Kaye: Where are you working from today?
Me: A coffee shop in Boulder. I am meeting with a vendor this morning and he chose this joint.
Kaye: Nice.
Me: I cannot wait to be an old man at a coffee shop. These codgers are sitting next to me
and have been talking about the weather for the past hour.
Kaye: With their newspapers and their sweater vests?
Me: Well it is Boulder, so gray beards, flannel shirts...
Kaye: ...and some LL Bean khaki pants?
Me: Right. And instead of a regular newspaper they are reading an alternative paper. Something that bashes Republicans and the "establishment."
Kaye: God. Old Boulder dudes.
Me: They are not even cool old dudes wearing a Fedora, walking all slow and talking about losing their buddies during the WW-deuce.
Kaye: Ha! They are just old Hippies. The worst kind of Hippy.
Me: Yes. Because they are old enough to know that their peace-loving, cheeba-smoking rhetoric does not work anymore.
Kaye: Totally. You know what looks good on a Hippy?
Me: Blood?
Kaye: No. Fire.
Me: Even better.

Labels: boulder, career, coffee, colorado, im convos, kaye

The Women of Starbucks I supported because we all have that barista in our lives that make our mornings bearable with a cute smile and some fantastic breasts. The Women of Enron I rallied behind because Enron screwed a lot of its employees out of their retirement savings and, hey; nude business chicks! The Women of Home Depot I half-heartedly accepted as I once saw a semi-attractive female working in the lumber department at my neighborhood store and I may have been interested in seeing her naked if liquored up properly and nothing good was on television. The Women of Olive Garden I cannot and will not get behind due to the fact I have never seen an attractive female employee in my limited experience with the chain. An overweight, single mother with bad hair and a marinara-stained shirt on the other hand...

Labels: boobs, chicks, coffee, pop culture, porn

This morning while nursing a hangover from last night's poker game, I rolled into Starbucks for some coffee. Upon ordering, a woman entered the store with her two children and attempted to pay and place her order from the drink bar. My only possible explanation for this woman's behavior is that she is an alien, her children are cleverly disguised droids and she just arrived on Earth because it is not possible that anyone in this country has not at least been inside a Starbucks let alone order a beverage from one. The alien's next stop was a McDonalds where she read from the menu for ten minutes and than ordered a Quarter Pounder from a statue of Grimace.

Labels: coffee, hangover