The Women of Starbucks I supported because we all have that barista in our lives that make our mornings bearable with a cute smile and some fantastic breasts. The Women of Enron I rallied behind because Enron screwed a lot of its employees out of their retirement savings and, hey; nude business chicks! The Women of Home Depot I half-heartedly accepted as I once saw a semi-attractive female working in the lumber department at my neighborhood store and I may have been interested in seeing her naked if liquored up properly and nothing good was on television. The Women of Olive Garden I cannot and will not get behind due to the fact I have never seen an attractive female employee in my limited experience with the chain. An overweight, single mother with bad hair and a marinara-stained shirt on the other hand...

Labels: boobs, chicks, coffee, pop culture, porn

• Kate Beckinsale. Meow. I have been a fan ever since she started fighting werewolves and vampires in a tight, black jumpsuit and bustier.
• Lindsay Lohan. Doing the Marilyn thing (NSFW). Whatever. Everyone has seen her cash and prizes (NSFW) before, so getting an unobstructed view of her bare chest is not all that exciting. Regardless, the pictures are tastefully done and my maleness caused me to pause and acknowledge her befreckled fun bags. It is still too difficult to tell if the carpet matches the drapes due to her clean, close shave.
  
• Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman. It is a strange moment when Natalie Portman becomes the grenade in any scenario, but she is standing next to Scarlett Johansson's tits. Those things are like attractive friend Kryptonite; their glory weakens any hotness within their immediate vicinity.

Labels: boobs, link goodness, pop culture

The always timeless Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue hits newsstands this week and SI has posted a complimentary web directory so comprehensive that it nullifies the need for a printed magazine. The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue is responsible for me spending the better half of my formidable years tacking Kathy Ireland covers to my wall, enduring repeated viewings of Necessary Roughness and making Pee-Chee folder collages with shots of Elle McPherson and her snorkeling equipment. Back then, you could not find a sport associated with bikinis so it was nigh impossible to justify a pubescent grocery store checkout line purchase to your mother. But than this happened. And it is good.

Labels: boobs, swimsuit issue

Me: Interesting.
Jake: Meh. She does not stun me. Who cares if she can play some golf?
Me: I guess it is nice to know that she is not just a useless hot bitch. She can hit the shit out of a golf ball, too.
Jake: Give me Heidi Klum playing with her tits any day.
Me: Well, duh. Her tits are fantastic.
Jake: "Great knockers!"
Me: The Seal thing baffles me. I bet she is a size queen. It is the only explanation.
Jake: Hmmm. Never thought of that.
Me: Him and Edward James Olmos could be brothers with all that shit on their faces.
Jake: Ha! Seal had lupus. Cut the guy a break. He is just trying to get by.
Me: I do not call banging Heidi Klum "Getting By." I call that "Out Punting Your Coverage." "Getting By" is laying wood to someone like Britney Spears.
Jake: That is not "Getting By" that is "Giving Up."
Me: Nice.

Labels: boobs, im convos, jake

• A multi-tasking rapist. I think rape etiquette should tell you to set a cell phone on 'Airplane Mode' or at least leave it in the getaway car.
  
• A mutant skin disease from the Eastern bloc. I usually pride myself on sniffing out photo manipulation of any sort and this seems to be legit. The only red flag is Wikipedia not having an entry for Lewandowsky-Lutz Dysplasia.
• Her boobs, her boobs, her boobs are okay. Her sweater puppies are beyond okay; they are fantastic.

Labels: boobs, disease, rape

• Mr. Belding (Dennis Haskins) and Tony Romo singing a cover of Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" with Metal Skool. Good times. I think I will email Metal Skool and offer to redesign their site. Yeesh. What they got there now looks like an aborted fetus.
  
• Behold the model index of the 2007 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Enjoy wasting the rest of your day, boys. (Except for you, Gay Joe. Go find a homosexual site where dudes are dressed in SS uniforms and whipping each other or something).
  
• Jake's half sister is a transient pervert that likes to tie people up and drink their blood.

Labels: boobs, jake, link goodness, pop culture, swimsuit issue

• Quote of the day: "She had such a great smile, back when she had teeth."
  
• Video of a break dancing hand.
  
• A sculpture dedicated to The Birth of Britney Spears's son, Sean Preston. The installation is said to be an idealized portrayal of Britney in delivery with a distended belly, lactating breasts and a posterior view that depicts widened hips and reveals the crowning of the child's head. According to the artist's interpretation, Britney gave birth on all fours (which is fitting, I suppose, because I am guessing that is how she conceived) stroking a bear (wolf?) head. Are bears (wolves?) symbolic of fertility and childbirth? If so, I am going to start rethinking some things.
  
• I am using a hockey analogy for this link. Every team has a collection of diverse players with specific skills; a select few are pure goal scorers and play makers, others are defensive specialists, muckers, grinders, etc. The point is a good hockey player knows their role and is happy to contribute. You are nothing more to the human team than talking boobs, Jessica Alba. The sooner you accept and embrace that, the better off we will all be.

Labels: boobs, drugs, link goodness, pop culture

Wisdom from Pam Anderson:

1. Espresso gets the job done. It goes right to your nipples!
2. Do not buy into all the anti-aging secrets. It is a conspiracy. We are all getting older so accept it. Do not waste your money on loads of products.
   

Sound philosophical advice from a woman who has been pulled, inflated and stretched more than a piece of taffy.

Labels: boobs, pop culture, tomfoolery

• 1000 years of power, chain mail armor and a broadsword apparently are not enough to combat a tazer.
• Quote of the day: "A waitress is no longer allowed to wander around a beer garden with a plunging neckline. I would not want to enter a beer garden under these conditions."
• Tommy Lee is glad he chose alcohol over Pamela Anderson. Quote of the day number two: "I did not want to give up drinking because I believe I can have moderation in my life." Wise words from a man who once overdosed on heroin and shot up with Jack Daniels.

Labels: boobs, crazy, drinking, link goodness, pop culture

Dig on the new look for the MB. Then dig on the best porn DVDs of 2004 and skanks from Utah that give hair cuts in their bikinis.

Labels: boobs, chicks, new years, porn

Sucking on the wrong ones will usually cause trouble.

Labels: boobs, tomfoolery

No her first name ain't baby, its Janet, Ms. Jackson if you're nasty.

Labels: boobs, music, pop culture, sports

Jordan is proof positive that big tits equal notoriety.

Labels: boobs, pop culture

Jessica Simpson may be getting her own sitcom. This goes to show you that being a sitcom actor takes about as much talent as picking up an apple with your ass. Come to think of it, it probably takes more talent to pick up an apple with your ass. Now there is an idea for a television show. I guarantee people would tune in to watch Jessica Simpson pick an apple up with her ass. An ABC spokesperson claims that, "Jessica has infectious energy and unmistakable star quality. She also has a built-in fan base in both music and television which is a great jumping-off point for us." Read: She has big tits.

Labels: boobs, pop culture

Nothing irritates me more than when women's nipples are airbrushed out of photographs. Most major men's magazines (that are not porn) are guilty of this offense (an offense, in my opinion, that should be punishable by death. Preferably a death where fire ants eat a person alive from the inside out.) America country is sexually repressed. Women have tits and I want to see them poking through a tight sweater, a spandex body suit and/or a tiny bikini top. Even Angelina Jolie agrees with me on this one.

Labels: boobs, chicks, pop culture

Researchers theorize that there is a link between United States economic conditions and subtle changes in Playboy centerfold physiques. Readers seem to prefer stronger looking women in hard times, and softer, more vulnerable types when the market is good. Personally, I like all types of naked chicks no matter what the economy is doing.

Labels: america, boobs, chicks

I love it when it is nudie magazine day because awaiting in my mailbox will be the newest issue of Playboy. I jump around like a little kid tuned up on pure cane sugar. This month the Girls Of The Big XII appear naked. Not all the Girls Of The Big XII, mind you, just the really hot and slutty ones. A Baylor fraternity house is in trouble for appearing in said issue. From the keep you mouth shut and just take your shirt off category one of the models had this to say about the Christian folk who reprimanded the them: "I'm a Christian myself and I don't believe anyone should impose any beliefs on another person." I think it is safe to say she is not majoring in World History.

Labels: boobs, college, porn