There is no better way to celebrate my birthday than by reading my favorite type of story; a big fat slob being extricated from his house by way of cutting through the side of it. In just a few short hours my coworkers will be treating me to a sloppy plate of birthday tacos. Later this evening the wife will be making me a birthday dinner of "whatever my little heart desires." My little heart happens to desire pancakes, pumpkin pie and a glass of scotch. Here is hoping my thirty second year that will bring happiness, prosperity and employment stability. This tax season I am going to have more W-2s than a contract porn actor.

Labels: birthday, gluttony, tacos, wife

The rain falls softly on the metal roof. OJ is currently in jail for a B and E. I inhaled eight tacos and a bowl of green chili with Team Hofkamp during the Broncos game yesterday. Two homeless guys just walked by our office window with four shopping carts full of cans that were covered with assorted tarps and bungee cords yet neither were wearing a rain slicker or a poncho. I get free Brothers BBQ for lunch today. We just learned that one of our freelance designers is a con-artist and wanted for fraud. Pumpkin pie sounds delicious.

Labels: funk, random

• Friends Made: Ming the Hooters Casino High Roller who bet $1000 a hand at Pai Gow.
  
• Enemies Made: a black stripper from the Spearmint Rhino and a fat pit boss named Bill.
• Best Quote From Dave: "Right now I have more alcohol in me than sense."
• Best Quote From Erik: "When I see you again I will buy you $100 in bourbon."
• Seen In Abundance: Wisconsin fans, hooker trading cards and fake boobs.
• Seen In Scarcity: Street sweepers, museums and my judgment.
• New Coined Marketing Slogan To Be Sold To The Las Vegas Chamber Of Commerce: Welcome to the Sex Ashtray.
• Gambling Maxims Proven Correct: Never hit on 13, respect the sixes and a "push" is a win.
• Gambling Maxims Proven Wrong: No craps game goes seven straight rolls without making the point.
• Best Casino Game: Pai Gow, which is Chinese for Slow Money Bleed Super Happy Fun Drink Time.
  
• Worst Casino Game: Money Drop, or as it is more popularly known "Let It Ride."
• Best Run: Six and a half hours at a Pai Gow table on $40 that yielded countless free drinks, death threats from dealers named Gene, screams of free Hooters calendars and chicken wings, continual verbal assaults directed towards a fat pit boss named Bill and eventually, free Hooters T-shirts and shot glasses that Ming the Hooters Casino High Roller charged to his room.
• Worst Run: Ten minutes at a craps table that took $100.
• Best Eats: Steaks at Mon Ami Gabi and Bailey's ice cream shakes.
• Worst Eats: My bag of Fritos and pack of Starbursts for dinner and Will's infamous "last breakfast" from Nathan's which consisted of a chili dog, a handful of soggy crinkle fries and twelve over-cooked chicken wings.
  
• Best Sports Bet: Wil for putting it on UNLV to cover the spread versus Wisconsin.
• Worst Sports Bet: Me for putting $20 on the Colorado Avalanche to win the 2008 Stanley Cup.
• Years On My Life That The Trip Took Off : Two.

Labels: dj, drinking, ez, gambling, tomfoolery, vegas, wil

• Until the Intern becomes a full-time employee he shall be called a different female name every time he is addressed or is brought up in conversation.
  
• When the Intern comes strolling into the office all cocky with Starbucks in hand, he will be directed back out the door to fetch the Art Director a pumpkin spiced latte.
• When eating sandwiches in the conference room and the real employees want to talk about something important, the Intern will be directed to the vending machines in the building across the parking lot to fetch the CEO a Mountain Dew.
  
• When being instructed to "tighten" up a design and the Intern sarcastically quips, "How tight do you want it?" The following exchange will take place:
  "Tighter than a 13-year old Romanian gymnasts ass."
  "That is tight."
  "Fucking A right it is, Susie."

Labels: career, taxi dev