• A frightening haunted house. Frightening not because of superb effects and realistic horror scenarios but because it is operated by a registered sex offender.
• A classic Halloween prank goes awry in trailer park. The world is shocked.
  
• Wikipedia for the man who killed Halloween. Thanks to this prick and the paranoia he caused, I did not have a Snickers bar until I was in junior high. My dad would "check" all of my candy post trick-or-treating and deem it safe for consumption. He would take all the Snickers bars out of my bag and say things like, "This one is no good, son. It is poisoned" or "You cannot eat this one. It looks like someone tampered with it." These "tainted" candy bars then found their way into my Dad's secret candy stash for him to enjoy periodically through out the year. Fuck you, Candyman.
  

Labels: death, halloween, link goodness, tomfoolery

Arvada, Colorado tax dollars hard at work. Are you enjoying your fancy steak dinners on my dime, cocksuckers? Feel free to contact the AURA Board of Commissioners to discuss this matter with them directly. I also urge you to ask Mr. Urban how his daughter got the nickname "Spices" when she was in high school.

Labels: a-town, colorado, corruption, politics

These youngsters could be as cute as newborn babes and as sweet as sticks of cotton candy if they did not write song tributes to Rudolf Hess.

Labels: hate

NC State runs a classy program. All I know is that if that Mexi-Cam business were pulled at Invesco Field At Mile High during a Denver Broncos home game, the stadium would probably be burnt to the ground.

A funny anecdote regarding the kissing cam: A few years ago I was in attendance at the Pepsi Center when the Colorado Avalanche took on the St. Louis Blues. In the second period, Joe Sakic fires a slap-shot that shatters the non-shatterproof glass behind the goalie. This causes a long delay in the game as the Pepsi Center crews work on cleaning the glass off the ice and installing a new panel. The Jumbo Tron begins entertaining the crowd with video clips, hockey highlights and the kissing cam. The segment drags on longer than normal due to the delay, and finally, it casts a parting shot of the St. Louis Blues bench; more specifically Keith Tkachuk and Barret Jackman. The players, engaged in a conversation, look up to see themselves on the Jumbo Tron kissing cam, smile and then lean into each other and kiss. For that brief moment in time, I actually liked Keith Tkachuk.

Labels: colorado, denver, hate, hockey, sports, tomfoolery

• David Copperfield is going to impregnate a girl with magic. "Presto! You are knocked up! Now you will have wait nine months and see if the trick worked." This does not sound like a magic tick to me. It sounds like the modus operandi of a guy I went to high school with.
• The Jenga Sears Tower.
• A little league hockey coach implements the ring of death. Hijinks ensue.

Labels: hockey, pop culture, sports, tomfoolery

• Doctor Doom for homecoming king.
• This poor girl has a doppelganger starring in porn movies that even made her parents question her social habits. Luckily, my online dopplegaenger only plays the drums in a hardcore metal band and I do not ever get mistaken for him.
• Bill Romanowski protects his mythical fortress of solitude from a black stallion with a magical orange maine.
• Model railroading based in reality.

Labels: comics, dopplegaenger, link goodness, matt brozovich, sports

With Halloween a few weeks away, here are some helpful links on how to make a Doctor Octopus costume and a fake human head in a jar. Tomorrow the future wife and I are off to the pumpkin patch at Rock Creek Farm in Boulder County to partake in our annual tradition of collecting over-sized gourds and saying things like, "I like this one. It has a good shape and it looks like a squirrel has not chewed the fuck out of it."

Labels: halloween, pumpkins, wife

• Smurf village annihilated by warplanes. Enough said.
• A registered sex offender is arrested wearing only a loin cloth fashioned from lawn furniture and covered in either fecal matter or tomato paste.
• An interview with Stephen Baldwin regarding his "hardcore" relationship with the almighty.

Labels: comics, link goodness, perversion, pop culture, tomfoolery

It may be Wednesday but I just now recovered from this past weekend. After treating my liver to a host of pollutants for three straight days, my body was pleased to remind me that it is not 21 years old anymore. On Friday, I went to the Great American Beer Festival with the usual cast of characters, minus one future brother-in-law who came down with sore ovaries stayed home (click here for some hot Flickr action). On Saturday, I went bar hopping with a large group of rowdy and intoxicated family members to celebrate my cousin's impending nuptials. On Sunday, I attended the System of a Down concert at Pepsi Center with my future brother-in-law (who miraculously recovered from his sore ovaries) and friends, where two cases of beer and a can of Skoal Bandits were killed and an annoying fat guy in glasses who quoted Plato was almost killed.

Labels: bro-in-law, denver, drinking, hangover, weekend that was