Summer is nearly upon us and that means I will be fielding middle of the day phone calls at work from the future wife and listening to her describe her naps by the pool in vivid detail. The future wife is a teacher and has her summers off. Damn her. Onward to Alice Cooper's School's Out link goodness:

• A special Special Education teacher.
• "Let's have a feel of that ass. Mmmmm. That's nice. Now go outside and fetch me some Happy Teacher Water."
• Bottled ketchup: public school's newest menace.

Labels: drinking, link goodness, perversion, summer, wife