• A woman who super glued her ex-lover's penis to his abdomen, his testicles to his leg, his ass cheeks together, put nail varnish in his hair and wrote profanities on his back while he slept is being sued for $30,000. Jesus. Whatever happened to blowing a guy's best friend to get even?
• A customer glued to a toilet seat in a Halloween prank is suing Home Depot. "This is not Home Depot's fault," the gluee said. "But I am blaming them for letting me hang in there and just ignoring me." I probably would have left his crying ass to rot on the commode, too. I am not busting down any public bathroom stall door to make sure some weepy dude is doing alright.

Labels: rage, tomfoolery