1. "You should buy two packs. You are smoking for two now."
2. "Is your husband gaining sympathy weight just to keep up?"
3. "Did you ever see that old Twilight Zone where the giant bug crawled into a crib and laid eggs in a baby's head?"
4. "Joaquin Phoenix is proof positive that you can still be successful with a birth defect."
5. "Look at you! You are ready to explode!"

Labels: babies, tomfoolery