Kids are such pussies nowadays. All I know is if I would have seen a severed arm in the fifth grade, it would have changed my life.

Dad: We bought you a new bike. One of those BMX jobs with the cool racing checkerboard frame guards and back wheel pegs.
Me: Cool. Can I get a severed arm with it, too?
Dad: Only if you fuck around and ride it like a jackass.

Labels: childhood, dad, tomfoolery